In chapter 11, Jane nearly confides in Holden.
Prompt:
Write about a time a friend trusted you with a secret. How difficult was it to keep the secret? Why do you think your friend trusted you?
Responses must be respectful and thoughtful. Minimum length required: 5 - 8 sentence paragraph response.
According to my parents and other family members, I’m not too great at keeping secrets. In my mind, and apparently my friend’s minds too, I am extremely trustworthy. When I was younger I encountered an incident where I was told a secret by a family member, and instructed not to repeat it. While I can’t remember exactly what the secret was, it most likely revolved around a Hanukah, birthday or anniversary present for my parents or brother. Looking back on it, I guess I felt REALLY cool being in on a secret that I couldn’t help but share it with others. I began by telling one person, and although I promised myself that I wouldn’t tell anyone else, I wound up sharing the secret with the person who was to receive the gift. Immediately after, I felt terrible about what I had done, and from then on, I made sure to be more cautious about keeping secrets.
ReplyDeleteEight to ten years later, I am now able to successfully keep a secret and not feel pressured or anxious to tell other people. Recently, my camp friend told me how she felt about another girl in our age group and what she had done to get revenge on the girl a bunch of years earlier. Needless to say, these feelings were in no way positive or friendly. While I was neither friends nor adversaries with the girl who my camp friend was talking about, she made me promise not to tell a single person. To be quite honest, I was shocked by what my camp friend had told me and I couldn’t believe that she had such strong feelings toward the other girl. More than that, I couldn’t believe that she chose to tell me her secret out of the 37 girls in our age group. Looking back on it, I guess my friend told me her secret because she knew she could trust me. I am the type of person who gets along with most people, and makes a conscious effort to be friendly towards all. I would never look to hurt or embarrass, let alone share someone’s secrets with others, regardless of if they were my friends or not.
Amy Carton
Jennifer Blum
ReplyDeleteThere have been instances when people have shared secrets with me and trusted me to keep them to myself. I will admit, that at times I find it difficult to keep some secrets to myself because I feel the need to get it out to someone so that it isn’t bottled up inside me. Most often though, I have no trouble not sharing something especially if it is serious, embarrassing or just something someone I’m close to has trusted me with. A specific time a friend trusted me with a secret, was recently, when they told me about their mom’s health. I was very surprised that my friend was able to reveal that information to me, and I promised not to tell anyone; a promise that I will continue to keep. I believe that this person trusted me because we are very open with each other about our lives, are always there for each other, offer each other advice and are just there to listen.
Sarah Murphy
ReplyDeleteSecrets are a very difficult concept. You are accused of isolating people when you tell one person, or multiple people a secret, and not everyone else. You are accused of being untrustworthy if you tell a secret that has been told to you. “Secrets, secrets are no fun unless you tell everyone” is a line commonly used by kids when secrets are told. I remember growing up when someone would say, “I have to tell you a secret” and then whisper in someone’s ear, while everyone watched, longing to know what had been said. I think that secrets can become a huge burden to carry along with the many consequences it entails. One time, my friend told me a secret about someone we both knew. She told me something that shocked me, something that the girl told her as a secret. My friend told me not to tell anyone, and I found that extremely difficult. I couldn’t just keep this secret to myself, I needed to tell someone but I knew it wasn’t my secret to tell. The only person I could talk to it about was my friend who originally told me the secret. She proved to be untrustworthy in that situation but I knew that two wrongs don’t make a right, and even though she told the secret, doesn’t mean that I should. I ended up keeping the secret. I think that my friend told me the secret because she just had to tell someone and knew she could trust me in that I wouldn’t tell anyone else. Whenever I see the girl who the secret was about, I always think about it, and as much as I want to tell, I can’t. “Two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead” is a saying and a lyric from the song, “Secret” by Pierces which truly shows the weight of a secret and how hard it is not tell someone, unless you actually can’t speak…
Ahhhhh secrets, one of the most annoying things in the entire universe. Secrets are an intricate burden for one to carry on their shoulders. It is always very difficult for one to have a secret on their mind, especially when your dieing to tell someone about an embarrassing mis-hap, a crush on someone your friend really likes or an unforgettable party photo that will absolutely trash your social reputation. No matter what kind of secret it happens to be it will always be extremely difficult to not go crazy or tell other people about it. Once one of my friends who shall remain nameless told me a very interesting secret that was excruciatingly painful not to tell, but even with those circumstances i did not tell anyone about it at all. Including all consequences with the annoyance called the secret they are fun to have and fun to share with your best friends. I personally think that when friends tell each other about a their secrets its way to gain trust for that person and for the friendship to blossom as long as its kept in conference.
ReplyDeleteLuke Elion
Deciding who to tell your secrets to can be difficult and keeping secrets can be even harder. Usually for children to keep secrets is hard but now I believe that I am more trustworthy. Secrets are annoying because everyone feels the need to tell more people about it. But trust is always an important quality because true friends should be able to trust each other. Recently, one of my friends trusted me with of secret, and other people wanted to know what it was about. Even though people asked me about the secret I never told anyone else because I wanted to remain trustworthy to my friend.
ReplyDeleteSanam Patel
I had a time that a friend told me a secret and it was a very serious one. I had a hard time keeping it a secret. The hard part was it was something about his life. I felt like i had to tell someone because i felt in time his life could be in danger. But after a while i started to except the fact that this was going on. The reason i think he told was because i think i was his only friend that he could tell this to and take him seriously. The thing was i did take him seriously. So after a while i asked my friend how was the situation working out with him. And he said to me it has gotten a lot better and there are no worries about danger in my life. And at that point i said know i don't have to keep this any more because the situation has ended.
ReplyDeleteBrian Goldstein
As all my friends know, I am a very trustworthy person. You tell me not to say something, and I will never repeat it to anyone. You tell me something in confidence, and I take it to the grave. However, that's not to be confused with someone who loves gossip. If you tell me something and you don't care who knows, I will be the first to admit that it may come up as my topic of discussion. But other than that, your secret is safe with me.
ReplyDeleteRecently, one of my friends confided in me by telling me a very personal secret. It was a really good one too! It was difficult at first for me to keep the secret, but then I pictured myself in their shoes. If whatever happened, happened to me, I would expect my friend to keep my secret and I would be very upset if I found out she was blabbing it our across the whole school.
I believe my friend trusted me because she can look back upon other minor secrets that I have kept because she asked me too. That is the foundation you need to have with a friend in order to gain their trust. You have to start out with a small layer and slowly build your way up.
Although I don't tell secrets, the rules might be able to bend if my friend was in danger or at risk of hurting themselves. I mean I would have to make sure that I wasn't blowing it out of proportion, but I would always put my friends safety first. I think of it like this, I would rather have my friend mad at me, than dead. It's as simple as that.
Whenever a friend or family member trusted you with a secret, you should always do your best to keep it. This reminds me of a time when a family member went away for vacation to Paraguay, and planned to bring their daughter back a puppy as a present. My parents later on told me about this news, but never mentioned to me that it was a secret. So the next morning I asked my cousin about how excited she must be to be getting a new dog, and that's when she started questioning me about the dog. And after that it came apparent to me that the dog was supposed to be a surprise, and that I had ruined it. But to be honest I never knew that the dog was supposed to be a surprise gift. My parents probably told me this plan because they expected me not to tell her or anyone else. Even though this incidence turned out bad, it doesn't mean I cant keep a secret. On occasion a friend will come out with a secret and they expect me not to tell anyone, which I always do, mainly because I usually forget about it after a while.
ReplyDelete......bammm maldi just wrote on ya wall......
One time that my friend entrusted me with a secret was when he told me who he liked and i wasn't allowed to tell anyone else. It was difficult to keep the secret because people continually asked me who they liked and it was hard to not tell them. However I kept it a secret because i wouldn't want to let my friend down. I think they trusted me because they felt that I was loyal and had previously proved my trustworthiness.
ReplyDelete-Theo Gevirtz
Secrets, the reason gossip spreads, lies begin, and people wish to rip other people’s hair out. I recall a time I was told a secret and forced to keep it silent. My friend had trusted me with a hazardous secret that happened while she was at the mall with another friend. Hearing this, I was shocked and struggled with not going to my friends to ask their thoughts and advice on how to help the girl. But I knew if I went to anyone it would just expand on and on across the student body, causing the poor girl to be constantly ridiculed and taunted by our peers. So I kept it to myself until it eventually passed on to point where no one would care, but I still did not tell a soul because I knew by if I mentioned it would somehow get back to the girl and hurt her. But I guess that is why my friend trusted me in the first place because she knew I could tell how the effect it would have on the girl and because of that I would be too slimy to squeal a secret.
ReplyDeleteLaura McKinsey
There have been multiple instances where close friends have come to me to share a secret of theirs. They come to me because they know they can trust me with valuable information. In any case it is hard to keep the secret bottled up to yourself especially depending on the secret. Sometimes telling the secret may make you feel cooler showing other people that you know something that they don’t. Many of my friends come to me to vent about problems with their family, friends or health and expect me not to tell. I successfully keep these promises in order to not embarrass or hurt the other’s feelings. The other day my friend made me swear to not tell anyone about problems she was having with her family, she knew she could trust me keeping this her secret. We had built this trust after being close friends for a long time over the summer. Sharing the secret can easily ruin a friendship and create enemies whether you enjoy the other person or not.
ReplyDeleteCasey Rinker
If you talk to any of my friends they will all tell you that I am a very trustworthy person. When someone tells me something and they don’t want me to tell anyone I make sure I keep that promise. I myself have problems trusting other people that’s why it’s so important to me to make sure I am trustworthy and that people can trust me. Even though at times it can be hard to keep the secret I know that I have to do it. My friends come to me all the time and tell me information they don’t want other people to know. They do this because they know they can trust me. Recently my friend came up to me and told me something that was very personal. She didn’t want anyone else to know and I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone. I think the reason she trusted me was because she has trusted me in the past with minor things and knew I kept my promise not to say anything. When you gain someones trust you know you can tell them anything.
ReplyDeleteOlivia Manley
There are numerous occasions that come to mind when I think of the times my friends and I have shared personal, private information with each other; after all true friends feel comfortable sharing their deepest, and darkest, secrets. Most of the time, no matter what my friends have told me, it’s always been a challenge to keep their secrets. I find secrets are harder to keep when one cannot express his/her true opinions and thoughts on the subject to the “secret teller”. Sometimes I feel like telling another person about the situation in order to discuss my feelings, which may either be positive or negative. Another time secrets are difficult to keep confidential is when they involve serious matters and one feels outside help, most of the time an adult, needs to become involved in the situation in order to prevent potential harm to the friend. Additionally, one may seek advice on how to help their friend through a hard time and feel the only way to do this is by explaining the “secret situation” to someone wiser than them. I was faced with one of these challenges, in keeping a secret, when my friend told me about the abuse she was receiving from her boy friend of two years. When she told me about what he was doing to her, my first instinct was of course to tell someone else about her problem and get her help, even though that wasn’t what she wanted. This isn’t the case with me most of the time though, I happen to respect my friend’s wishes and keep their secrets private. Since I expect my friends to keep the secrets I share with them between the two of us, I do the same for them. I think my friend trusted me, and told me about her situation, because I had always been there for her, not only physically when she needed a shoulder to cry on, but mentally when she was seeking advice and confidence. I believe my actions were justified is seeking help for my friend and telling her secret, even she hated me for it. Although I don’t believe she realized it at the time, by telling someone who truly cared about her well being (which was me) she wanted help and to be saved from a situation that she had lost control over.
ReplyDeleteNicole Suozzo
I am not so great at keeping secrets since I have the urge to tell everyone. But this one time, my friend told me one big secret. We were in her house talking while looking at magazines and also doing homework together. And suddenly, she said, I want to tell you something in a serious tone. But I didn’t notice that she was actually serious and that it was extremely important. So I said, “What is it?” And she told me her secret. She was muttering and stuttering at first but when I said “What?” she told me clearly. I was shocked and couldn’t say a response. She looked at me for a second and she left the room to give me sometime. I started to walk around the room but couldn’t be normal. After a while, I got better and she came back in and told me to not tell anyone and I promised that I wouldn’t. But what I still can’t figure out still is why she told me the secret since she knows that I can’t keep secrets. But maybe she trusted me because we are close friends and since it was such a big secret, maybe she thought this one time I would actually keep this secret. I was not back to normal for a few days so everyone was worried but when I came back to normal, as usual I had the urge to tell someone, anyone! But I knew that if I tell that secret to anyone, she wouldn’t be my friend anymore and I didn’t want that to happen. So I haven’t told anyone that secret to anyone and I’m still keeping the secret as a secret.
ReplyDeleteMaya Ogura
Times where I was in Holdens position, where I know a secret that my good friend had trusted me with has been very difficult sometimes. Whether it was a personal secret or just like a "Yea, I like him.." kind of secret. At times it can be dificult because i would want to help that person but knowing that I'm not allowed to tell someone inorder to help my friend is a bit difficult. But no matter I kept the secret and never told anyone. Till this day those people still trust me because I'm a reliable friend, where I can be trusted with someone feelings or emotions or just plan gossip. As well as, the fact that i still don't blurt out there secret even when maybe there old news or anything. Because I would want people to have, that I can trust them with secrets. And if those people can;t rely on me,I lamost agree that, why should i rely on them. Its not a give and take...Its a give give situation :)
ReplyDeleteThere comes a time in everyone’s life when they’ve been told a secret. It’s up to you to decide whether you’re going to be trustworthy or not. I hate being in the position of holding a secret because it can be difficult sometimes. According to my friends and family I am pretty reliable when it comes to keeping a secret. However sometimes when it’s not such a big secret I tend to blurt it out. For instance one time my mom brought my brother a present for his birthday and told me to keep it a secret. My brother pressured me into telling him and I just did it. When it’s a more serious secret I’m very trustworthy. I think secretes are a very interesting topic providing that it allows you to determine which of your friends is trustworthy or not.
ReplyDeleteAlexis Tedesco
Secrets have always been around, and everyone has one that they think they can trust with a very good friend or family member. There was a time a while ago that I was hanging out with one my friends, and she trusted me with with a secret about something that she's currenty going through with a few of her famiy members. For someone who isn't really friends with her and doesn't know her all too well, you would have never guessed what was happening. However, when she told me about it, I could tell she would rather not I say anythig about it to anyone else, even though she didn't specifically say it. Right now, I can proudly say that I havent told anyone about it, and I dont plan to either. I am really always trustworthy when it comes to my friends, and I would never say anything to anyone else unless they asked me to.
ReplyDelete